Talk Therapy

I think that we all could benefit from a little professional “talk therapy” in our lives. Some of us could benefit from more than a little. Here’s why:

We are more capable of loving ourselves and our loved ones when we at least know why we sometimes behave insecurely, erratically, defensively, or arrogantly. It’s even more effective when we take that knowledge and do the hard task of working through our shit.

We love our people. And we hurt them because of hang-ups in our distant and not-too-distant past. It’s usually not irreparable damage—the people we love tend to forgive if asked, sometimes even when they aren’t asked. But I’d rather be the kind of person who engages with my loved ones in healthy, helpful ways. If I can help it.

And sometimes our people are the ones who hurt us. Therapy teaches us how to handle the pain they cause us and how to form healthy boundaries so we stop enabling them to hurt us and others.

I don’t want to settle for the unhealthy patterns in my life. If you don’t either, I urge you to give therapy a try. Find someone you feel comfortable with, who accepts your worldview even if they don’t believe it themselves, and whose priority in your conversations is to help you find the ability to thrive in all areas of your life, including your relationships.

May you love well and be loved well.

Confessions of a Grammar Nazi

Rarely does the wrong usage of the words “there”, “their”, and “they’re” pass my eye unnoticed. I learned the proper spellings of these homophones (among others) in middle school, and I prided myself on being able to use them correctly. I was genuinely confused that others couldn’t get them straight, and I found camaraderie with other Grammar Nazis who shared my passion for the proper spelling of such commonly used and confused words.

Continue reading “Confessions of a Grammar Nazi”

Gleaning

I get a lot of advise. Some of it is passive, like what I read in self-help and other non-fiction books with valuable life lessons. Other advise is more active, like people telling me specifically that I should try something they’re doing that they love.

A lot of it is good advise. But I’ve realized that the more advise I consume, the more overwhelmed I get. I’m on information overload. I cannot possibly follow every word of advise given to me by every author, every Ted-talk speaker, every pastor, every friend, and every family member. I don’t have enough brainpower, emotional capacity, or hours in a day.

Continue reading “Gleaning”

Mountains of Decisions, part 2

Prologue from part 1:

I am not a hiker. And though I appreciate the beauty of green and flowering things from behind the glass of a window, I’m not even really that fond of being outdoors. So I was surprised to discover that the image that came to me year after year as an analogy to describe my life, was a mountain. Complete with hiking trails.


The second time this mountain imagery came up, I had already decided to sign on full time with the ministry I’d been part of for 6 years. I’d been offered the choice to move to another city in a nearby state, or to stay at the campus I knew and loved. They asked me to pray about it, and when I did, the same mountain image emerged from my subconscious. Only this time, there were two ways up the mountain.

Continue reading “Mountains of Decisions, part 2”

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain

I’ve read my fair share of books on introversion, and I have a few favorites. One I like for its humor, one I like for speaking into my Christian niche, and this one, well, I like it for making me smarter. If I were to teach a class on introversion, I’d use Quiet as my primary textbook.

Continue reading “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain”

Local World Travel

I love to travel. To set foot in different countries, see historic places, learn about the culture, meet the people who call the place home. I love how much our common humanity shines through the accumulation of differences between myself and each person I meet.

Every time I travel outside of the US, I try to balance my tourism with regular life things (it helps if you have a contact in the country you’re heading to). It is awesome to see in person world-famous sites like the Great Wall of China and Machu Picchu, to learn more of their historic significance and to experience the mysteriousness and grandeur of their construction. But for travel to really become a growing experience, it is almost necessary to get to know the people who live there. And probably not just the people serving you in the tourist industry.

Continue reading “Local World Travel”

Rosetta Stone

I’m using Rosetta Stone to learn a new language in order to be prepared for a month and a half in the country of its origin. Learning new things seems to get harder the older I get. So I’m thankful for programs like this that break it down for me in manageable bits. But Rosetta Stone certainly has its positives and negatives. Here are some I’ve noticed so far:

Continue reading “Rosetta Stone”